Soul Verse
So I was talking to an adoptee friend the other day, discussing some songs they are writing and the fact that they will be beginning to search in the very near future. In the course of the talk I began feeling some of those old feelings of pain and getting a little morose.
When I get this way my brain starts wandering and often that is when I write my better posts. I haven’t really let myself go like that in a while with family, school, and work but that night I did and I was in tears.
So I wrote little rhyming snippets. Not sure if I would call them poetry but they are from me.
The first two here was from thinking about my family:
although I may not say or show
I love you dear more than you’ll know
I may have friends far and wide
but its you I want by my side
and
little sons so young and free
little sons a part of me
how lucky am I to have them here
for within their eyes, myself I see
Okay, it’s not Emily Dickinson but I’ve never really written poetry before. (No jokes about how I still haven’t please.) I then floated into haiku format. Granted it’s mot truly based on the standard haiku format because nothing should be explained, the poem should make you feel and realise what it’s about.
Haiku Night
moonbeams scale thru leaves
a rhythm of stars sparkle
music of the night
Then my shields came up, my humor shields that is, designed to offset the feelings and push them away. (My Therapist always calls me on my smile because most of the session I wear it like armor.
Haiku Knight
clanging, banging steel
stomping, neighing, cheering din
music of the knight
Then things went slightly left
Haiku Adopted
soul of a feather
drifting with the lightest breeze
I am adopted
That was just weird but it kept going
shards of memory scattered on the floor
dreams and lovers who have come before
pieces of a life to be lived no more
Okay, not only a left turn but a cut across the meridian I think and now off the road completely.
a tear falls from darkest eyes
the mark of a soul that silently cries
longing to know who it is inside
So I may never be a poet but my soul scares me sometimes.
April 7th, 2008 at 5:47 am
Maybe a bit scary to see your shadows but better out than in my friend. I actually thought it was pretty great!
How the heck are you anyway? Drop me an email when you have the time k?
May 24th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Hello. I have read a few of your posts. You are talented, and have great deal of heart! I don’t know who you are, but it is clear you are loved by those around you, and I believe you are loved by the your First Mother.
I am a Mother that never had the privilege/strength to raise her own children.
Life is complex, choices are seldom as easy as they seem. Many of us, First Mothers, were manipulated and coerced into signing papers. We never “chose” to let the fruit of our souls go to strangers.
I wish for you, all good things.
I hope that we all can find peace in our hearts with the paths our lives have traveled.
Andie
July 14th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Dark,
It has been ages since I caught up with you on the adoption forums. (As in back in 2004) I was StarryNight back then. Mind getting me up to date? Thanks, ~Starry