Statistical Comments
Wow is all I can say. I am 49 years old and I can honestly say that everyday of my life I have felt appreciation for my birthparents decision. Not only for giving me life, but also for giving me “a life”. I have never felt that I was “given away”, or rejected. Instead I feel that I was loved enough to have an adoption plan made for me. I can only imagine what a difficult decision it was to make, and I hope they have never regretted it. My REAL (adoptive) parents have always loved me unconditionally. While I may have biological roots elsewhere my ROOTS are firmly planted with my parents, siblings and relatives that I grew up with and have a relationship with. It might be nice to look at someone whom I can see myself in, but it really isn’t that important. I look at my parents, etc…and see MY FAMILY! And don’t think my life has been perfect either - it hasn’t, but that’s life. There may be things I would change, but being adopted isn’t one of them.
I had the following comment posted on the my entry titled Statistically Speaking. Below is my reply:
That’s great but unfortunately, the more you dig the more you may find they didn’t “choose” to give you up.No one should be forced to give up their child.
Also it’s good that you love your parents. Excellent in fact but calling one real implies the others aren’t and that’s not exactly right. Personally, I think both should be celebrated; one for giving life and one for giving you a life. both are important to who you are whether you want to find them or not (and that is obviously your choice.) However, to some of us it is important to be able to look at another who shares our traits. Quite a few. I look at my parents and see my family too but I have another, knowing one does not supersede the other.
Having never met you, your comments read like you are worried about your parents thinking you are trying to replace them. See many of us who search AREN’T trying to replace them just add to our family because they are blood, they are family.
Some are searching to replace though, because of the families they were given too. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, flat out ignoring or kicking to the curb, every story possible exists and each must decide how to help their own story play out.