Comments on: Ten things you shouldn’t say to an adoptee. http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/ Wraith's Wrealm Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:50:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Grandpa Don http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-30279 Grandpa Don Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:22:58 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-30279 I was adopted in 1931. I am eternaly grateful that I was born ... and then adopted. I would not want to change a thing. To change any of the events of my life would change the outcome and I love my life. It is not what happens to you that matters the most ... it is how you percieve and deal with these events that define you. I never met my birth parents but I am greatful for them as much as my adopted parents. I have recntly found out who my biological parents were and met my brothers and sistes. Life is GREAT! Grandpa Don Plefka I was adopted in 1931.

I am eternaly grateful that I was born … and then adopted.
I would not want to change a thing.
To change any of the events of my life would change the outcome and I love my life. It is not what happens to you that matters the most … it is how you percieve and deal with these events that define you.

I never met my birth parents but I am greatful for them as much as my adopted parents.

I have recntly found out who my biological parents were and met my brothers and sistes. Life is GREAT!

Grandpa Don Plefka

]]> By: Mary http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-27018 Mary Wed, 29 Aug 2007 19:43:14 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-27018 Hi, I am a mother of 2 transracially adopted children, the loves of my life. Your blog is one of the most important I have read. My children have open adoptions which I hope goes some way to healing in the future. I know that my wish to adopt, is in all honesty selfishly motivated, I wanted to be a mother. I always felt that I would put 100% into my children and provide as near perfect a home as they could experience. Sometimes I feel much guilt as I read the real pain of adoptees, I try to reconcile it all and it is hard. I want my children to know who they are in every sense of the word. Their first families are so very important to me. I just hope it is enough to help them negotiate all the hurt and stresses and confusion they may feel. I love them so much but I hope my decision to adopt them does not screw up their lives. If I had or anyone else had created the financial security for their families, they may never have been separated. instead I chose to adopt. I want to thank you for your insight and comments here. I hope that if I take all this on board I can help my kids a little to cope with the path life has taken them. Hi,
I am a mother of 2 transracially adopted children, the loves of my life. Your blog is one of the most important I have read. My children have open adoptions which I hope goes some way to healing in the future. I know that my wish to adopt, is in all honesty selfishly motivated, I wanted to be a mother. I always felt that I would put 100% into my children and provide as near perfect a home as they could experience. Sometimes I feel much guilt as I read the real pain of adoptees, I try to reconcile it all and it is hard. I want my children to know who they are in every sense of the word. Their first families are so very important to me. I just hope it is enough to help them negotiate all the hurt and stresses and confusion they may feel. I love them so much but I hope my decision to adopt them does not screw up their lives. If I had or anyone else had created the financial security for their families, they may never have been separated. instead I chose to adopt. I want to thank you for your insight and comments here. I hope that if I take all this on board I can help my kids a little to cope with the path life has taken them.

]]> By: stiltwalker http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-26304 stiltwalker Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:58:02 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-26304 damn if I had a $1 for everytime I've been out on the streets and wished so bad that I could just run into one person who looked like me... damn if I had a $1 for everytime I’ve been out on the streets and wished so bad that I could just run into one person who looked like me…

]]> By: joyjoy http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24673 joyjoy Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:08:41 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24673 Thanks Wraith Thanks Wraith

]]> By: Cath http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24593 Cath Wed, 25 Jul 2007 19:34:19 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24593 Dear Wraith - thanks for the list. Although I have reunited with my son, it is worth checking lists like these so that I don't put my foot in my mouth!! It is lists like yours that really help other peoples reunions succeed. It is working so far for me - my son and I are still friends after 4 years in a happy reunion and things are going well. Thanks again for the words of wisdom. Dear Wraith - thanks for the list. Although I have reunited with my son, it is worth checking lists like these so that I don’t put my foot in my mouth!! It is lists like yours that really help other peoples reunions succeed. It is working so far for me - my son and I are still friends after 4 years in a happy reunion and things are going well. Thanks again for the words of wisdom.

]]> By: Wraiths http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24504 Wraiths Mon, 23 Jul 2007 03:27:09 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24504 Welcome Sharon, Glad you enjoyed the site. Check out the links on the side to other great blogs as well. You are definately not alone. Welcome Sharon, Glad you enjoyed the site. Check out the links on the side to other great blogs as well. You are definately not alone.

]]> By: Sharon Ferguson http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24423 Sharon Ferguson Fri, 20 Jul 2007 21:48:17 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24423 Dont know what possessed me to start looking up adoptee blogs today, but I am so very glad I came across yours. #10 Really hits home for me because its an issue I am struggling through right now, at the age of 40. My story is too long to go into here, but I can't tell you how it feels to know there are others out there who feel the way I do. I dont feel isolated anymore. Thank you. Dont know what possessed me to start looking up adoptee blogs today, but I am so very glad I came across yours. #10 Really hits home for me because its an issue I am struggling through right now, at the age of 40. My story is too long to go into here, but I can’t tell you how it feels to know there are others out there who feel the way I do. I dont feel isolated anymore. Thank you.

]]> By: Wraiths http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24409 Wraiths Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:54:55 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24409 Thanks Poss. You are welcome Michelle. Hi jim, you're welcome. Hey Kimbecca, wow, thanks. Dan: ouch, the things people will say. amiweird: not at all, thanks for visiting!! Thanks Poss.

You are welcome Michelle.

Hi jim, you’re welcome.

Hey Kimbecca, wow, thanks.

Dan: ouch, the things people will say.

amiweird: not at all, thanks for visiting!!

]]> By: amiweird http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24378 amiweird Fri, 20 Jul 2007 09:13:03 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24378 Thanks for providing a voice for adoptees. I am sick of being asked ignorant questions and being told uninformed blanket statements. I feel no-one knows us adoptees better than we do - no matter what walk of life we come from or what our varied attitudes towards adoption are. i really like this blog - discovered it through poss. Hope you don't mind me putting a link to it on my own page. thanks! Thanks for providing a voice for adoptees.
I am sick of being asked ignorant questions and being told uninformed blanket statements.
I feel no-one knows us adoptees better than we do - no matter what walk of life we come from or what our varied attitudes towards adoption are.
i really like this blog - discovered it through poss.
Hope you don’t mind me putting a link to it on my own page.
thanks!

]]> By: Reunited Dan http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24377 Reunited Dan Fri, 20 Jul 2007 08:32:29 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/07/16/ten-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-an-adoptee/#comment-24377 Thought you might enjoy this much smaller list. http://bostonuncommon.wordpress.com/2006/09/10/three-rotten-things/ Thought you might enjoy this much smaller list.

http://bostonuncommon.wordpress.com/2006/09/10/three-rotten-things/

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