Reunited “I like my name” Dan

My son didn’t tell his adoptive parents we had reunited until after our face to face because he just didn’t want the extra pressure it would have put on both of us.

I’m not sure I would have been able to handle that either. I am grateful that we didn’t have an audience!

The judge is to give his decision in August – but one of the things he did say is that “the right to privacy” is NOT a good enough arguement to veto information from anyone.

I’ll keep you posted on that.

I’ve been reunited with my son for 4 years now – and things are still going well.

I suppose I could add “never assume anything”. Non-id is not always correct – my son’s was a work of fiction! His non-id actually said that I didn’t know who his father was!!

Imagine my son’s shock when I told him that not only did I know who his father was but that he had been helping me to look for him for years and wanted to meet him asap!!

I am pleased to say that my son has now reunited with his father and all of his siblings.

It is also important to just listen to each other before you decide anything.

My son and I learned a lot about each other just by listening and asking.

In our case, we didn’t want to overwhelm each other, so we devised a way to pace ourselves. I know others that have tried this and it does work well.

Allow yourselves one e-mail a week.
In that e-mail, ask 2 light-hearted questions such as “What is your favourite colour” and “What is your favourite food?” Then answer your own questions “Blue” and “Chocolate” are mine.

It is a great way of getting to know the person before the face-to-face. It makes you feel more like friends than strangers when you do meet. It is also a good way of finding out what is important to that person.

Also, get to know each other a bit before the really heavy stuff.
Friends handle this stuff better than strangers.

When you do ask the heavy stuff, try to arrange a place where you can cry and talk in private without anyone else listening in.

Try to make it just the 2 of you so that you don’t feel like you have to hold back on anything.

If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. Those things worked for my son and I.
We are now the best of friends. We will soon be celebrating the 5th anniversary of our reunion!

BDab, you are welcome. I would like to talk to you more about your thoughts and needs if you want. I will send an email and you can reply to me if you are interested.

Suz, I would LOVE to get more lists from every side. Since CB is just adoptees that is the only angle we can come from rightfully, although there are a few members who fall into multiple points on the plane. If you want to put on together, I would be honored to link to it or post it here if you prefer.

but yea, good list.