Comments on: The Adoptive Plane (Revisited) http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/ Wraith's Wrealm Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:21:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Irene http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-22347 Irene Wed, 04 Jul 2007 14:33:46 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-22347 Wraith, thank you for the visualiztion of the plane. Several years ago my found daughter's last letter to me said she felt "caught in the middle." I couldn't understand it. I had made no demands. I only hoped there was room in her life for love from both directions, her adoptive family and her birthfamily. But I also knew her adoptive family felt negatively about her having a relationship with us. I am no longer sure about sending a birthday or Christmas card. Is that putting more pressure on her and does she even want a card? How do you know with no contact? Wraith, thank you for the visualiztion of the plane. Several years ago my found daughter’s last letter to me said she felt “caught in the middle.” I couldn’t understand it. I had made no demands. I only hoped there was room in her life for love from both directions, her adoptive family and her birthfamily. But I also knew her adoptive family felt negatively about her having a relationship with us. I am no longer sure about sending a birthday or Christmas card. Is that putting more pressure on her and does she even want a card? How do you know with no contact?

]]> By: Erin_d_a http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-17560 Erin_d_a Sun, 13 May 2007 05:31:17 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-17560 I hope for the bee that we can all be a big blob of a family. I cannot parent her the way I want to, or the way she needs without her natural mom. I think the blob is possible, but it is hard work. It is much harder than my marriage, or blending our nutso families, but it is also worth it because we are playing with a tiny person who has no say in the whole thing. I hope for the bee that we can all be a big blob of a family. I cannot parent her the way I want to, or the way she needs without her natural mom. I think the blob is possible, but it is hard work. It is much harder than my marriage, or blending our nutso families, but it is also worth it because we are playing with a tiny person who has no say in the whole thing.

]]> By: Rebecca http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-17120 Rebecca Wed, 09 May 2007 04:16:57 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-17120 Wraith, This is fantastic! I can see the last 10 years of my life in your illustrations. The goal is possible. I'm living it. In fact, my dad has gotten together with my first mom and her family even when I haven't been there. I hope you can reach it too. Best wishes, Rebecca Wraith, This is fantastic! I can see the last 10 years of my life in your illustrations. The goal is possible. I’m living it. In fact, my dad has gotten together with my first mom and her family even when I haven’t been there. I hope you can reach it too. Best wishes, Rebecca

]]> By: momseekingpeace http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16872 momseekingpeace Sat, 05 May 2007 20:14:42 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16872 I think it makes alot more sense what you guys came up with, it feels much more honest and leaves room for variations, where as the other way seems so fixed and rigid. MSP I think it makes alot more sense what you guys came up with, it feels much more honest and leaves room for variations, where as the other way seems so fixed and rigid.
MSP

]]> By: Andie D. http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16803 Andie D. Fri, 04 May 2007 22:39:26 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16803 I think Mia may have sent me to your orig. post about this, and I in turn sent a link to a non-blogging friend. I've always disliked the adoption "triad" concept. Too simple. The adoption plane makes more sense. I love it! I think Mia may have sent me to your orig. post about this, and I in turn sent a link to a non-blogging friend. I’ve always disliked the adoption “triad” concept. Too simple.

The adoption plane makes more sense. I love it!

]]> By: Mia http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16707 Mia Thu, 03 May 2007 12:22:26 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16707 I think it's brilliant. I lead people to this analogy often and use it myself exclusively. I think it’s brilliant. I lead people to this analogy often and use it myself exclusively.

]]> By: christine http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16685 christine Thu, 03 May 2007 01:29:16 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/04/25/the-adoptive-plane-revisited/#comment-16685 I love it! It is similar to sociograms that I do for clients (I'm a therapist). I love how the dynamics show movement and are changeable. I hate that adoptees are often put intensionally/unintensionally?? on that plane that emotional-tug-of-war that ensues I love it! It is similar to sociograms that I do for clients (I’m a therapist). I love how the dynamics show movement and are changeable. I hate that adoptees are often put intensionally/unintensionally?? on that plane that emotional-tug-of-war that ensues

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