More adoptee episodes in different TV shows this week.

For example, there is the adoptee who commits murder to get part of her biological inheritance on a Law & Order. The DA makes some comment about how this is why records should be sealed. Then there is the Without a Trace episode where the kid disappeared and they discovered he was a young adoptee whose birthday had just passed (and normally he is such a happy kid) and found his birthdad, although it wasn’t his birthdad because the agents found out he had died. Instead, it was a child molestor.

Then there was the Law & Order Criminal Intent episode I watched last night. It centered around young woman who had disappeared after her parents were killed and they believed she was having an affair with a married man. Turns out the man was her biological father who was still having an affair with the biological mother after 20 years. In the end it turns out that the biological parents arranged for the adoptive parents to be killed so the girl could inheret the 3 million dollars from her adoptive family and were then going to arrange for her to be killed as well. The bio-dad hadn’t signed relinquishment papers so he would become the beneficiary of her estate.

So I learned the following from these and other shows with adoptees:

1. Open records are bad because angry adoptees will kill people.
2. Searching is bad because bad things will happen.
3. Birthparents are just bad in general.

Okay, that was way over-simplification with a bit of tunnel-vision and a slight “tint to the glasses” interpretation of it. I wish I could write a show where the adoptee searches, reunites, goes thru the honeymoon session and still survives, grows closer to the adoptive family and the biological family and finds a way to incorporate both into their lives. Granted, I can barely write a blog that actually expresses my feelings but I am working on that one. :grin:
I will give kudos though to the writer of Goram’s last line. As the woman sits with the ashes of her dead parents in her lap, she begins to say it’s all her fault and Goram replies that it isn’t her fault, she did nothing wrong. All she did was try to find out what any kid would want to know, where they came from.

I am reading this book right now call “In Fury Born” about a young woman in the distant future who goes from school to the Imperial Marines. I love Sci-Fi and this is by one of my favorite writers named David Weber. The story jumps thru different portions of her career, starting as a kid who graduated college early to becoming an infantry marine and onward. Her resoning behind joinging was partly because of her mother’s father who was one of the most decorated marines in Imperial Service however her father’s side were more pacifist in nature going more into diplomatic service, although he got the need for a strong military.

Anyway, the story gets me thinking sometimes about what might have been. If I had a “genetic blueprint” growing up which was similar to my own, what might I have gone into? What heights might I have reached or would I have even gotten to the level I am at? My parents always tried to give me new experiences to help me decide what to do. They offered (forced) music lessons on me which was cool and while I do occasionally pick up an instrument and play a little tune, it wasn’t one of my favorite things to do but I wouldn’t trade the knowledge for the world. Music is one of the greatest gifts we can give another in my opinion and they not only showed me tons of different kinds of music (I’m listening to Vivaldi right now!!) but gave me the ability to be a part of it. Currently, I am working as a tech/geek. Would I have been inclined to go into this field? Would I have gone into police work like part of my military career or advanced electronics like the other part? Would I even have joined the Navy? Would I read so voraciously? Would I have met my wife and had the issues I did? Would she have a better life if she had never known me? Worse? Oh well, it’s not good to dwell on those thoughts to much.

Another thing about the story is the author’s descriptions of the heroine. It always makes me long a little to know when I read how this person looks came from this parent or that one in books. Have you ever noticed the care which writer’s will write about thier characters? How the descriptions often seem to contain some tidbit about how the hero/heroine’s appearance is similar to their parents. “It was easy to see where Alicia’s height had come from.” See it’s not easy for me to see where my height comes from. My mom is about 5′ and my dad is around 5′6″. Since I’m 6′5″ it’s not easy at all for me. Too look into another adults eyes and see my own is something I just can’t fathom. Heck, looking at my son and seeing the similarities still gets to me, however to see someone who has come before would be just to cool for lack of a better phrase. Maybe one day. Try explaining that to someone though and too often they don’t get it. Not their fault, it’s one of those things thats always there but you never conciously think about if you have it, but for many adoptees it is a big thing.

While I haven’t finished the book yet, I know her family will be killed and she will go rogue to avenge them, even to the point of forsaking and being hunted by her former comrades in arms. (Damn you “inside flap” writers and your summaries!!) Would you? Would you give up all you have for the sake of your family? Even if they were all deceased, would you hunt down the killers if the government stopped looking themselves? Would you expect and adoptee to do the same for their adoptive parents? Would you expect the adoptee to just move on and not care? Many people would probably think that yes, they would still expect the adoptee to care and would understand the feelings of revenge. Heck many of you would probably have the same feelings. So why is it so hard to understand why an adoptee wants to search? I mean they are still alive, at least in my heart until I know for sure otherwise and even then there are other’s out there who share my lineage who aren’t dead. No matter the odds, it is something I have to try to do.

So as I mentioned before I was in the Navy. I served for about 11 years and have been all over the Pacific. (Join the Navy, see the world or at least half of it.)

One of my favorite tours was in San Clemente Island, CA. It’s a pretty cool base with a lot of open areas to hike. We didn’t have a lot of other things to do but it was still a cool place. At night the fog would roll in so thick, you couldn’t see past the hood of your truck, literally.

I was stationed there as a Security Police Office (since they didn’t have shore duty for more normal job at sea in weapons) and had worked my way up to the Field Training Office and Watch Commander. As the FTO, it was my responsibility to arrange training, whether it be discussion or scenarios.

Anyway, one night two of my guys (both new) were riding together. It was a quite night and I had antother experienced crew rolling so I decided to have a little training session with these guys. Some of the areas out there have no lights so it is pitch black. (Sometimes, I would follow the patrols without my lights on to verify they were properly checking the buildings and not off cruising the dirt roads or parked and sleeping.) On this particular night, the pair parked their truck and walked over to this very long warehouse where they needed to check multiple door. I walked up to the truck and checked the door, unlocked. I opened the door, thinking I would take the shotgun to scare them and lo and behold the keys were in the ignition. (Now at this particular base, no one is supposed to be on the roads after 10:00pm with the exception of us or the occaisonaly air traffic controllers heading to the tower. The building is in the opposite direction about two miles.) Anyway, I got in their truck, started it up, turned on the lights and wigwags and took off. My truck was about 100 yards in the field behind a hill so it couldn’t be seen at all in the dark.

After a short while, I drove on down and heard the pair calling on the radio for backup. I had a different circuit to talk to dispatch so he was informed. The other patrol picked these guys up and I slowed down to give them time. I led them on a mmerry chase for a bit, then pulled onto a dirt road leading to an abandoned A frame. I parked right out front, ran to the door and opened it a crack, then took off into the field dodging the cactus I could see. Between the darkness of midnight and the cammies I was wearing, they didn’t see a thing. :ninja:

I dropped into the tall grass as the group pulled up beside their pilfered vehicle. They cautiously approached the vehicle, locked it (I had left the keys in it on purpose so kudos to them.) Next, they began to clear the building but one of them stopped and began running into the field. As he ran my way, I heard him yell, “No don’t.” I rolled over to see several SEALs standing over me, with weapons in my face. I looked at them and just said “hey.”

I think the two rookies were more afraid than I was because I knew the instructor who was leading them and he was standing beside the group and had recognized me. (Apparently, I had even run right over one of them, good thing I have a long stride.)

After all said and done, those two rookies learned a valuable lesson about following procedure. They actually became two of the better patrolman although I didn’t think I would give them quite the scare I did nor do I think they ever forgave me. :angel:

There were a few other funny times but that’s for another day.

So again, I got tired waiting for the agency to let me know if there was an update and again they respond immediately.

Wraith, as I told you, I am unable to mail anything further to her. She has not agreed to contact nor has she completed the necessary forms for you to have contact. She never completed the medical form that I contacted her about several times. I wish it could be different. I know this is very disappointing but I simply am not allowed to send her mail without her consent. I am very sorry.

So my birth mom has to give permission for them to drop something in the mail? I don’t get it. I haven’t been going over the hill with contacting them. Haven’t been sending emails or letters every few days. Haven’t been calling them constantly. Oh, I am sure she is sorry. I mean I’m sure my pain means a damn thing to her. They got my money and they know that they are my best chance in the future because they have all the records.

But I guess my birth mother’s “rights” mean more than mine. I mean, I only paid $500+ bucks to them but she sacrificed her first born. :censor:

What a week.

My wife and I both had the 4th off so we went to the local fair. My son got to jump in a HUGE pirate jumper for hours while my wife and I jsut sat on the grass and watched him. If it wasn’t for the big generator making all the noise it would have been perfect. Oh and it was so BLOODY HOT!!!!!!!!!!!! :nuke: We had hotdogs and soda, lemonaide, and ice cream. We walked thru the arts and crafts stuff and my wife bought a cute wood firecracker thingy. My son even built a little boat from Home Depot. Very cool little fair. After we had been there for a while my wife mentioned she was getting tired and too hot and I said okay, we could go if she want. She turned to me and commented how surprised she was that I was willing to stay as long as I had. Normally with that many people around, I would be asking to go. Hey, I guess therapy does work. :wink:

I got to say, I like the work week. I mean, you come in Monday and think “ahh it’s monday, yuck” but then Tuesday is a holiday then you come back and you think “hey I only have three days. Woo hoo!” :grin:

Now it’s the weekend. Yesterday was a great CUB meeting. There were a lot of people, several of them new, and we had some really good discussions. It’s funny how these meetings can be so uplifting and heartwrenching.

Driving home, I had such a scare though. I had tried to call my wife but she wasn’t answering her cell phone. Calling home, my mother-in-law said she hadn’t heard from my wife either. You see, earlier in the day my wife had taken my son to the beach at around 10:00. I was trying to call her at 7:00. I had my MIL called an aunt that lives nearby (I didn’t have her number.) I asked her to call them and have my wife call me OR call me back if she isn’t there. After 5 minutes of panicky driving at 90mph, I got tired of waiting and called her back. My wife wasn’t there. That’s when all the bad possibilities started going thru my mind. As I was on the final freeway of my journey (it’s about 30 miles from home to meeting and three freeways,) my wife calls. The relief was like removing an extra heavy coat. My hands were shaking, my heart pounding. They were both safe and had been at the beach all day. She just hadn’t heard her phone (it does ring softly so we are off to verizon to see about getting a new one for her with a louder ring.)

So I guess I still have some work to do. I know better than to start imagining the worst until all the possibilities have been reviewed but I was still a little raw from the CUB meeting. Bottom line is that they were safe and sound and I think I will go mad if I ever lose either of them.