Walls abound
Another note from the agency and another negative. Apparently, they have had no luck locating my blood father nor has my blood mother responded to repeated emails requesting the medical info she said she would provide.
The question is, should I believe them? Show I pay for another hour, since I only have three minutes left on the last hour? Should I just give up? :angry:
I am SOOOOO sick of this burearoucratic clap-trap. Who are we protecting? This person who last I heard signed off all her rights concerning me? So why the heck is it more important to protect her non-existant right to privacy than it is to my knowing my ancestry/past/blood? I know I have said this before but this is so freaking annoying.
I want to know where I came from. I want to know what my non-id meant by “other nationality.” I want to be able to share this info with my son, who deserves to know just as much as I do. This isn’t about some womans feelings or family, I am her blasted family. Her genes burn in my blood, my very cells. This is about an America citizen being able to stand up and say with confidence, I came from this. This is about my past, my history, my ancestry, my family tree with it’s two trunks and all the crazy branches. This is about being able to look into my son’s eyes and tell him what his ancestry/history/FULL FAMILY TREE is.
The family that adopted me is great, don’t get me wrong. They are a wonderul family and their morals and traditions reside in my soul and heart but we can never share genes. The pen may be mightier that the sword, but it’s can’t rewrite DNA. I am so angry, I wish I didn’t feel so strongly, have this drive to find out who they are, but I can’t. Every time I back away, I begin to obsess about it again. i have to finish this journey, even as hope dies.
Why doesn’t she want to know me? I just want to be able to say, “don’t be afraid of me or what happened, don’t be ashamed.” Then I have to wonder what the agency told her. Did they stretch the truth a little, to make her cautious or increase the feelings of shame?
See, another person “in the know” mentioned to me that sometimes they will let things slip on purpose. Things that aren’t quite true, like names. There is also the fact that the medical I recieved from the aunt via the agency doesn’t quite jive on the dates with my non-id. I get that the world owes me nothing, but I’m not asking the world. This woman on the other hand, I am.
On a good note, my Genographic Project submission has entered the DNA analysis stage. :okay:
EDIT: So I sent a note saying I would send more money, and then asked if they had checked the name of my blood father against the Vietnam Wall since he was drafted according to the non-id. The reply:
I have not checked the deceased list for Viet Nam. I will do so when we have more time. Best wishes.
“More time” which translate to “when you pay us again.” :censor: I found two names though of a whose record of address was Richmond and were of Methodist faith and the birthdates would be consistent.
May 9th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but it can’t rewrite DNA.
OH this is a CLASSIC line Dan!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Hey, I know it’s easy to get discouraged and angry but try to remain optimistic. Within optimism lies victory. That’s mine, not as good as yours but what the heck I gave it a try. lol
I am going to put my munchkins to bed and get to work on things. I will email you tomorrow.
Is your lovely wife back yet? If not I bet you are starving by now huh? Don’t worry pizza covers all the food groups.
CHIN UP MR.!!!!!!!
May 9th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Hey hon things will get better for you. You have the power of friends with lots of connections to databases. WE WILL get your search completed.
May 10th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Yeah, I know, I know. It just makes me scream. It’s like punching air and you can hear smug laughter but no one’s there to open doors. It S*U*C*K*S. To know one’s own identity should be the most basic right of every human being. But no. Adoptees are livestock or dolls or throwaway meat, toys for the convenience of the bloodsucking system to make gargantuan profit. It’s all about money and denial and the zombies who keep it that way. We must all refuse to be victims any more. Keep on doing what you’re doing. Never give in. Never let the asshats get you down.
May 12th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
Never trust an agency. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. NEVER trust an agency. I have been asking for my adoption papers for two years, and they never sent them to me. They lied to get my daughter, they will lie to the aparents, and likely, lie to the adoptee. That’s the base of their business. A bunch of lies.
Also, it’s not about protecting the natural family. I’m sooo sure the adoptive family etc can know as much as they want about the natural mom. (for example, late I realized they had access to all my medical files. Huh.) It’s about protecting the name of “adoption”, and keeping up the charade that adoptees don’t need their natural family.
((hugs))
Have you tried to search with angels? ISRR? Other state or provincial registries? There should be more ways to get information for free out there.
Never Give Up.
May 12th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
thank you all.
I have tried Kinsolving and another angel, but no go for both. mia and Amy are looking into it and I have started trying to find something as well. There is also a PI that I need to call but I keep forgetting, I think I am afraid she will say it’s going to be too hard.