Comments on: The Adoptive Plane http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/ Wraith's Wrealm Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:08:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Lynelle http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-37980 Lynelle Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:28:36 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-37980 Fantastic representation and terrific to see "new" thinking! Would love to reference your blog on our website as this can help other adoptees understand their experience better. Fantastic representation and terrific to see “new” thinking! Would love to reference your blog on our website as this can help other adoptees understand their experience better.

]]> By: Anne Sanders http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33701 Anne Sanders Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:39:44 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33701 Yes, the usual triangle is certainly far too simplistic. I often describe adoption more like a pyramid, as the triangle ignored the fact that adoption has also a legal aspect. I see the adoption authorities at the apex manipulating all the other 3 participants. Of course that is in the early stages and hopefully is not too much of a concern for adoptees later in their lives. Thanks for your reflection and diagramatic representation. Yes, the usual triangle is certainly far too simplistic. I often describe adoption more like a pyramid, as the triangle ignored the fact that adoption has also a legal aspect. I see the adoption authorities at the apex manipulating all the other 3 participants. Of course that is in the early stages and hopefully is not too much of a concern for adoptees later in their lives.
Thanks for your reflection and diagramatic representation.

]]> By: Pam http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33659 Pam Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:49:41 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33659 I like what you have done.As an adoptive parent and a student who has been looking into the counselling issues pertaining to transracial adoptees I can see the diagram as being a useful tool. HOwever, when the birth family is untraceable there is a hole...that will always remain. I like what you have done.As an adoptive parent and a student who has been looking into the counselling issues pertaining to transracial adoptees I can see the diagram as being a useful tool. HOwever, when the birth family is untraceable there is a hole…that will always remain.

]]> By: Karen http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33652 Karen Sun, 02 Dec 2007 23:18:32 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33652 Hi Wraith and Farmer Boy, Just found your "plane" on an adoptee support site in Australia. I like the thinking you've put into this. Just wanted to add that as an adoptive parent the last diagram represents how I feel , psychologically, about my children and their birth families, even if it never becomes a reality...though I hope for all of us we do one day meet and embrace each other....however holding that image of the 3 dots together, as a goal ,is psychologically important. ..much more healthy than the triangle which keeps us all apart. Our children know our intentions...and can sense our willingness to embrace where they have come from...this is a gift you have given us. Thanks. Hi Wraith and Farmer Boy,
Just found your “plane” on an adoptee support site in Australia.
I like the thinking you’ve put into this. Just wanted to add that as an adoptive parent the last diagram represents how I feel , psychologically, about my children and their birth families, even if it never becomes a reality…though I hope for all of us we do one day meet and embrace each other….however holding that image of the 3 dots together, as a goal ,is psychologically important. ..much more healthy than the triangle which keeps us all apart.
Our children know our intentions…and can sense our willingness to embrace where they have come from…this is a gift you have given us. Thanks.

]]> By: Wraiths http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-37 Wraiths Thu, 26 Jan 2006 13:29:00 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-37 Yep, FB and I came up with other diagrams such as an X for no longer attached or no contact. Yep, FB and I came up with other diagrams such as an X for no longer attached or no contact.

]]> By: Heartened http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-36 Heartened Thu, 26 Jan 2006 11:40:00 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-36 Well you know my feelings - I LOVE it! Though on my diagram, can we just eliminate the adoptive family completely? LOL Maybe add in all of you as my "other" family instead? -grin- Well you know my feelings - I LOVE it!

Though on my diagram, can we just eliminate the adoptive family completely? LOL

Maybe add in all of you as my “other” family instead? -grin-

]]> By: Wraiths http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-35 Wraiths Sun, 22 Jan 2006 23:50:00 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-35 Of course fauxclaud, this is free to share, all I ask is that you give Farmer Boy and I credit. Farmer boy, I just crack myself up sometimes. Of course fauxclaud, this is free to share, all I ask is that you give Farmer Boy and I credit.

Farmer boy, I just crack myself up sometimes.

]]> By: FauxClaud http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-34 FauxClaud Sun, 22 Jan 2006 18:18:00 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-34 Hwy Wraith! Cookie said you said HI so I say HI back! And I met Farmer boy....that was cool. I love the diagram. Can I copy and paste to share?? Hwy Wraith!
Cookie said you said HI so I say HI back!
And I met Farmer boy….that was cool.

I love the diagram. Can I copy and paste to share??

]]> By: Cookie http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33 Cookie Fri, 20 Jan 2006 21:33:00 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-33 Opps - I mean to say "quote" not wrote! Sorry just a senior moment. Opps - I mean to say “quote” not wrote! Sorry just a senior moment.

]]> By: Cookie http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-32 Cookie Fri, 20 Jan 2006 21:32:00 +0000 http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2006/01/19/the-adoptive-plane/#comment-32 Kim, I agree that it doesn't happen often, but my son's adoptive mom and I are on pretty friendly terms. Hmmm, it took him finding me after nearly 32 years for us to finally meet though. She's pretty secure in her role as his mother after all this time! But, I agree it is a great goal to have both families get along at least for the adopted person's sake. I think my son likes knowing we are friendly to each other. Easier for us though - no bad baggage - I do realize that. "Farmer Boy" - can I wrote you on that, Wraith? Thanks for the giggle. Good illustration - you two need to do a presentation together at an adoption conference! With your plane and the list of what adoptive parents should do - I think he would be great! Kim, I agree that it doesn’t happen often, but my son’s adoptive mom and I are on pretty friendly terms. Hmmm, it took him finding me after nearly 32 years for us to finally meet though. She’s pretty secure in her role as his mother after all this time! But, I agree it is a great goal to have both families get along at least for the adopted person’s sake. I think my son likes knowing we are friendly to each other. Easier for us though - no bad baggage - I do realize that.

“Farmer Boy” - can I wrote you on that, Wraith? Thanks for the giggle.

Good illustration - you two need to do a presentation together at an adoption conference! With your plane and the list of what adoptive parents should do - I think he would be great!

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