A time to put on masks to disguise ourselves and become who we are not or who we would like to be.  As an adoptee, what mask do I put on?
As I review my life, I realize that I often wore a mask. Often disguised myself to blend in with my surroundings or those people around me. I was on the outside, never really in the groups. Even tonight, as I walked with my son and some friends who we have known for a while, I cracked a joke (which I do constantly at work) and they were surprised. One of them even made the comment “What did you do with Wraith?” I feel like the pretender, that character who could become anyone he wanted, or fit in to any group.
So who am I? Am I the lost child of a mother who didn’t keep me? The son of two good people who took me in as an infant? The kid who did okay in school, but was bored out of his skull? Am I a musician, because I can play piano? A writer, a web guy, a tech, a comedian, a loner, a fun guy, a drifter, husband, father? A combination of them all or some of all. What do I want to do with my life?
I want to live. I want to know my blood and share it with my son. I want to be a better husband to my wife. I want to be a better father to my son. I want to be the best at my job that I can and I want to be more comfortable around groups of people. I don’t want to be on the outside anymore. I want to be a good son and brother. I want to be a honest man.
I have a ways to go still.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 31st, 2005 at 9:27 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.